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[漂泊旅人] 【云别传】（30、31）

stevene

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色城评论员勋章 色城蓝钻

1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2013-10-29 13:57  显示全部帖子
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这章妈妈与李云之间的对话,很自然,充满了母子之间的温情,写的真不错,李云为妈妈做饭的举动也因该是个很不错的拉近母子亲情的行为,个人认为如果作者场景描写中当中能加入"妈妈捧起饭碗边吃边怔怔的若有所思场景",那母子之间这场交心的情节就更加圆满了!
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  • 醉爱晚霞 金币 +5 认真回复，奖励！ 2013-10-29 22:11

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